Justification of bad behaviour either by yourself or your partner does more harm than good, by justifying such behaviour you are setting very dangerous patterns that will be hard to break down the road.
However; if the bad behaviour justification goes on for too long, it will become nearly impossible to change it without getting professionally serious, yet continuous relationship therapy!
All happy and healthy relationship has boundaries in common, and you must not be afraid to enforce them from the very get-go, or else they won’t exist throughout up until your relationship will run its course.
Think about this as a ‘hurling game’ with no referee, and no marked up boundaries, how long would you be willing to play a game like that?
We, Irish, use the most common excuse known to us:
“Oh I am trying to be the better person”
In reality, what you are doing there is lowering your standards!
If you are in a serious committed relationship, you should behave like an adult, and understand that you, and only you, are responsible for your bad behaviour, so should be the case with your partner and put those silly excuses aside.
They know what they did was wrong, even if they are trying to defend it through justification, you need to stop handing out free passes every time you suffer because of their bad behaviour.
Some people are probably afraid to lose their partner for calling them out for their bad behaviour, but think about it why is their partner is not afraid to lose them by behaving badly in the first place?
The answer to that is, they know their partner fears of losing them, and because of that, they believe they can get away with acting like a fool because their partner gives them no consequences to their actions!
The saying goes “What you allow is what will continue”, it’s spot on when it comes to relationships. You can justify all your fears the way you want, there is your justification and then there is the truth but the truth is the truth. Doesn’t your own situation prove that?
The length of time you are going to stay in a state of denial rests upon you!
You want to justify bad behaviour by lying to yourself, so you think you are keeping your relationship together?
Well………. not this time! Because you are not only letting your partner damage your relationship, the two of you are heading together towards destruction.
But is that the end result you really want?
By justifying bad behaviour, at some point you will find your relationship will reach the breaking point, if neither of you are respecting your relationship, this dictates you and your partner are not respecting you.
We call a relationship without respect ‘a dysfunctional relationship’, Period!
If your fear is what is causing you to make bad decisions and disrespecting yourself by allowing yourself to be mistreated, you are desperately in need to create more balance.
Every happy couple knows that continuous bad behaviour can end their relationship. The only way to do that is to establish boundaries when they are crossed address the bad behaviour in your relationship instead of justifying it by lying to yourself.
And remember, bad behaviour is solved more so by actions, rather than words. Actions enforce healthy boundaries far more than just empty words lacking the so-called action, if worst comes to worst there are a lot more fish in the sea, get Ello.ie Apps now and find yourself a new partner near you!