Yes you’ve read that right, sex with a stranger can be good for you and it’s never meaningless as others want you to believe, those who have frequent one night stands would agree that nothing makes a person feel more mature and organised like a one night stand.
Let’s put that in prospective, Excessive alcohol leads to a bad judgement which gives birth to sexual escapades. Maybe drugs. Followed by a sheer regret at dawn about what STI’s/STD’s you might have contracted. Nothing gives you more adrenaline kick right in the nuts, better than stepping into the unknown. What if she gets pregnant? After all this isn’t exactly what your parents taught you growing up, Patrick!
A vast majority of people envision a steamy montage of naked bodies, ending with a nasty hangover and a missing kidney. But wait …. What if we can tell you it’s nothing more than a myth? What if that meaningless sex with a stranger is exactly what you need to build confidence and start recovering from a bad relationship breakup?
Go on, take the red pill and come on this adventure…
Personally my first one night stand happened midway through the school while I was studying in Dublin, everyone thought I was one of the best player in my squad. Fast forward, nowadays these fledgling grads get more chances for one night stands than the general population.
We fly across the world on holidays and stay in luxurious villas, thanks to the AirBnb. We meet new people for a potential one night stand all the time.
We like to smoke some weed and drink alcohol while we are there.
While most women out there spend most of their 20s and 30s in a state of fear and dread that triggers their constant need to reproduce.
On the other hand, most men will practically hump anyone who looks at them twice and in need of some attention.
My first fling saved me from self-doubt and confusion about relationships and trust. I had just dumped my ex after wasting 9 years with her. It was a year shy from a decade of misery.
Maybe I was out for revenge, dating women only for the sake of breaking their hearts in the end.
I truly was like a vampire, or a scorned mummy. If I could dump enough women in cruel ways, I would be able to recover those 9 years that I wasted on that pathetic excuse of a woman.
As one might guess, that didn’t happen (surprise, surprise). Everytime my relationship started to bloom, id go to the moon and back only to find a way to break it off. I sabotaged my own relationships.
Well…. For starters, I ghosted on this girl because she was as dumb as a fucking brick, another one couldn’t spell and was always hitting me up with mind boggling custom abbreviation like “ok TTYL.” “Tats Gr8”, “Wot u up 2” “K c u 7on” are just a few that she explained but refused to write properly just because she thought she was way cooler to write proper sentences, the next one after she talked about how she always wanted to have 5 kids by the age of 30 while she is settle down. Hmm, what? A sudden babies talk made me run for the hills, but I played along, we both had amazing sex, I can only assume that she enjoy it alot because I never replied to her messages and calls or spoke to her ever again.
I also took pride in one night stands with women who used “Snapchat filters” to look like dogs, while other resembled characters from avatar, some used snapchat to change their facial features to their liking so when we’d meet they’d look nothing like their photos and I’d whisper something like, “Oh my god, you look so much better in person than you do in your photos.”
Wait, don’t call me a liar just yet….
It always worked and they’d open their legs faster than the google page and there goes another successful one night stand transaction! (enjoyed by both parties, ahem cough, cough)
You’re assuming that I must be a very bad guy and that’s because you’re not thinking about how many lives I’ve saved, so put on your thinking hat!
After a year of pumping and dumping, a one night stand sounded like the last thing I needed. I’d resigned myself by getting in a state in which I abstained from sexual relations, instead I started to engage my self in other activities such as taking a walk in the evenings, netflix nights by myself along with a glass or two (and sometimes a whole bottle) of white wine. I was on a riesling binge at the time.
Unlike most men women usually don’t plan a one night stand (most women don’t). And that’s what makes one night stands so great. It’s like finding a fifty on your evening stroll, except it also gives you a huge ass ego and confidence boost.
I remember my first one night stand showed me what I’d been looking for the whole time…
It was meaningful in its own ways.
But less serious.
Just pure entertainment full of pleasure.
You may wonder how did my one night stand begin?
Well… It was back in an art class, while I refused to take religion classes and that’s where I met her, I saw her eyes flashed when she saw me. Yeah, handsome.
It turned out she was in there for the same reasons as I was. Or maybe she lied. “Oh, I love Art! I want to make something abstract.” But she knew enough to make the lie convincing.
We sat together. We had lunch together, too, and exchanged numbers, remember those nokia 3310? At first, I thought i found my art class company. But then I texted her and found out she was a whole lot creepier than I thought she would be, I mean creepy in a playful way.
One Friday night around 10pm she texted me to meet her at a spot in Rathmines. That turned into my underage drinking accompanied by some friends of her. About 1 AM I asked to come to the park with me, she agreed and we started walking towards it, once we were there to avoid awkwardness I started kissing her.
Maybe you’re not supposed to do that, but we were quiet and there was noone there. We both knew better. People who made out in parks were frowned upon, they still are and if you’re caught you’d become the subject of gossip and dirty stories everywhere in the whole country.
Let the truth be told, that very risk made her lips taste even better.
While we were in a heat of the moment, she dropped a bomb!
“I’ve a boyfriend!”
Why she never told me this before?
Slut? Tramp? Wagon? or just going with the flow by acting on her animalistic instincts? I’d leave you be the judge of that. That bomb was dropped while I was slipping my hand in her knickers and that statement was delivered in form of a whisper….
Later I found out that they were going through a rough time, actually. In my new life, that would’ve make me puke. But that night, it made me feel even more hornier.
What was I to her? A harmless relief for her itch that she badly needed scratched? A treat after a rough time with her boyfriend? Or maybe both!
One thing I am certain of is that a one night stand has plenty of meaning. It means someone wants you really bad. So bad in fact they can’t wait. They want to fuck you now. You feel a sense of urgency, adventure. It’s almost like a fucking baptism.
Before that I had never kissed on a first meeting which definitely meant no fucking until a third and sometime fourth meet up. But that night, I discovered something new, I discovered common sense and good judgment hadn’t gotten me anywhere so far. Might as well try making some mistakes. So we sneaked behind the trees in a dark spot.
After guiding her there, I stopped. “You’ve a boyfriend, you’re ok with this?”
“Shut up and fuck me.” She said!
What we did was too graphic to put it all in this story and to tell you the truth we were at each other for hours and those hours flew, when you’re enjoying and having a good time flyes.
So it turned out that we kinda liked each other, even apart from the sexual adventure. She was fun, listened to my stories, and we got along really well.
Sure, we were using each other for sex. But that didn’t make us evil or empty. Although we did entered into a contract while my hand was half way through her pants, but the sense of mutual respect was present. She wanted out of her on again off again relationship that she was in, and I needed some dignity restored. Not a bad deal for either of us.
Some people say meaningless sex degrades you. From a mans perspective (and some womens too) that’s never true. Meaningless sex is great, when you are organised and do it smart.
Another great thing about meaningless sex is that it doesn’t hurt people, because there is no expectations other then great sex or commitment thereafter is ever involved from the start.
It’s people that hurt other people.
I am afraid, none of my later flings lived up to the thrill nor quality of my first one. The next one lied about everything, her age, where she worked and her relationship status, she was engaged to a man twice her age. After that, I had so many casual encounters that i lost count up until I almost fucked my best friends ex, which cooled me off and returned me back to monogamy that lasted 9 years 7 of which were pure psychological games and torture by that psychopath narcissist.
Fast forward a few years, now I am in such a better place that I have ever been, I am so much happier and satisfied with my life, everyday is blissful and more joyful compare to the previous day.
Throughout my journey I’ve gained a wealth of experience along with a new sense of strength and self-awareness.
So my advice?
If you’re single, go fuck a stranger! You might be surprised what happens thereafter….
It’s your life and your body after all. There are a million reasons you should go for it if you want to.
One night stands can be silly, fun, cathartic and yes, sometimes downright awkward. But if you want to have some sex for sex’s sake, there’s no reason you shouldn’t have it, remember YOLO!
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#SHOUTOUT: Unprotected sex is never okay because you run the risk of getting an STD/STI. Having an unprotected one night stand is even worse because you don’t know if your hookup has ever been checked or worse, they might lie that they are clean. Of course, not every casual sex encounter is unprotected, but still. It’s a valid concern and you should always practice safer sex.