It’s common knowledge that breakups are excruciatingly painful especially if you have been in one for over a year an a half to two years or more, people suffering from a relationship anxiety is more common than you might think.
What’s even more damaging to your mental and emotional well-being is when your EX belittled you and undermined your self-esteem.
Those comments they made against you weren’t just mean comments, you were put through cruel treatment that can have long lasting psychological effects.
No matter how long it has been since your last breakup, if you carry relationship anxiety, it is because of the hurtful things your EX said while the two of you were an item.
As a matter of fact it can be tempting to brush the past under the rug and pretend as if it was never there.
However it’s time to face your demons caused by your EX because whether you realise it or not their treatment is still affecting how you view yourself, or your relationships with others.
It’s completely normal for your to grieve after your breakup and also to experience some anxiety in your future relationship.
Much of how you respond will depend upon the nature and quality of your last relationship, as well as how that relationship ended.
If your EX put you down or cheated (or done both) during your relationship which ultimately led to your break up, then it makes sense for you to have a relationship anxiety for a long time including when you’re just seeing someone or involved in a committed relationship with your new partner.
Here are some examples of comments that could be to blame and how to let go of the toxicity they left behind.
I never loved you!
Discovering that the person you once loved and adored didn’t feel the same way about you can cause a devastating emotional wound.
Once you realise your love was only one-sided that itself can trigger anxiety related to your own self-esteem.
If you start having doubts about your current relationship that anxiety could even get worse.
However, it pays to know that other peoples opinions are not a reflection of who you are and you should remember that!
You were just a Rebound
No one wants to feel like a backup plan let alone being one for someone you were in a relationship with.
This might be a bigger problem especially if your last few relationships left you wondering if you’re meant to be in them at all.
However, if you question your desirability then reexamining what went wrong could bring you much needed closure.
We recommend digging for answers by looking into what did and didn’t work for you in your last relationship.
It is very likely you’ll discover that you’re a good person and your over-all anxiety is more closely related to the fact that your EX partner didn’t truly appreciate you.
You weren’t that good in bed
Oftentimes, the difference between healthy VS toxic communication isn’t what you say, but rather, how you say it!
Naturally, intimacy is an important part of a healthy relationship, and being clear and honest about your satisfaction in bed is at the core of a sustainable dynamic.
Although, there’s a huge difference between being made to feel bad about yourself in the bed and being lovingly encouraged by your partner to make some changes and adjustments.
No one should have to listen to and go through something like that you should call it a learning experience as you are so much better off without them.
No one will put up with you
We all have our moments, but that’s definitely not an excuse for anyone to label you unwanted.
That said, if your EX brought up valid issues about your character or actions as wholesome, it may be worth looking into.
If, however, your EX had some legitimate complaints and concerns, then it’s time you reflect and face problems that came from your part that eventually led to the breakup.
When hurtful things are being said by either current or an EX partner our gut reaction is to completely shut down as our fears and insecurities takes over.
Eventually, once you analysed whether or not there’s anything useful to be leaned from such remarks and the over all experience its time to move on.
You are your own person, and mean comments are always a reflection of the person inner-self and not you.
So don’t let someone else’s negativity rob years off your life and impact your future, take it as a valuable lesson. You don’t have the time or space for negativity to come into your life.
Let the past be the past and move forward towards your future with all the valuable lessons you have learned your future is shining bright ahead of you!
Off you go!
With that being said we have come to the end of this post, we hope you a have learned a lot of valuable information
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