Hello single people! This story is for you regardless of your gender, but it’s usually the guys who ask for and once agreed upon eventually go ahead and set the date through messaging on Ello.ie.
If you’re one of those folks who think of first dates as awkward or always a dud, then frankly you’re doing them all wrong.
I wanted to put together a guide based on real feedback from the lads and that’s why I’ve been busy lately connecting with the lads gathering experiences and opinions (sorry girls, as I already mentioned in my first para, its almost always the guys taking the plunge to set up the meeting point) so without further ado let’s dive in.
Once you’ve been sending messages back and forth to this girl that you really like the next step is to meet up of course but at this stage, you have invested a lot of your time and energy in this, therefore, you really don’t want to mess things up.
Think of the effort you went through by setting up your Ello.ie profile, swiping and eventually matching with this person, messaging her, etc.
See where we are going with this? There is a lot of investment from both sides but right now you look at your side of things that are gone into it, there’s really no reason to squander it on a bad first date, and if you do that will be a shame.
Having said that, if two are after a hookup and she already agreed to it she is going to come over one way or another and unless you catfished her she will sleep with you, so in a scenario like this you can ignore this and read this; One Night Stands Are Good For You!
Meeting up for a possible relationship? keep on reading. We’ll go into detail for each of all 5 points and once you will go through and understand these and will surely avoid these like a plague when you’re setting up your dates on Ello.ie.
#1. COMING ON TOO STRONG
Have you ever dealt with a salesman at a used car dealership? I am sure you have, not once but many times, they make you feel as if you owe them a sale and its not a very nice feeling, you feel extremely awkward especially if you don’t want to buy that car after the salesman working on you for a good 30 minutes.
Just like that, In your own head, you might be thinking that you’re taking her out to a posh restaurant or buying her ticket at the pictures so you two can cozy up with one another while enjoying that movie. Wait… Not so fast! What you’re really doing is making her feel as if she is “in debt.”
You may be the guy with finest intentions and you’re spending money on her like crazy, from the outside it feels like you are so caring but in her mind, the reality is exactly the opposite.
When its time to leave, she is going to feel extremely awkward, if you make the first move to get intimate, she is going to feel pressured into having sex with you. The more weird and awkward she feels the harder and less likely it becomes to have sex, think of it like counterproductive.
By no means, should you behave like Dr. Cheapskate but instead, keep things simple and more importantly casual. Paying for her tea/coffee, icecream is absolutely the norm, I personally wouldn’t suggest going on a full-blown three-course dinner on a first date or to a pub knocking back about 20 rounds (all paid by you) before calling quits because that would get you right in the creepy range.
We strongly recommend you keeping the pressure off your first date as much as possible. It’s all you and your date getting to know one another’s behavior face to face on a personal level, keeping unnecessary jargon off the table is highly recommended, you will thank us later.
#2. KEEP IT AS BRIEF AS POSSIBLE!
We recommend you limit your first date to as short as possible, The aim is to meet face to face in person and do a quick chemistry test, the last thing you want to do is call your date over to your house for a sleepover or to go to a festival together, because they will be spending hours putting on their false tan, doing their hair, applying layers of makeup, and god knows what, it’s too much to ask and there is a lot of risk involved in something going horribly wrong, first impressions are indeed the last ones.
What if they show up with a friend that you can’t stand? How would you feel like hanging out for 8 hours straight with a third wheel that you can’t stand?
And while you’re spending your time with your date the last thing you want is unnecessary interruptions, keeping your phone on silent or switching it off altogether is highly recommended. It’s rude to scroll through your phone or take calls while you’re on a first date. Don’t waste it.
Remember, the date should last no more than an hour, tops. Frankly, you have some serious issues to deal with if you can’t go that long without checking your phone.
#3. RIGHT TIME AND THE VENUE
As we discussed earlier on the main aim of your brief encounter is to get to know your date. Don’t try and fit it in your schedule if you’re exhausted such as after work and certainly do not pick a dimly lit venue with music blaring that you can barely hear over.
Sounds horrible, doesn’t it? Then remember clubs and bars are out of question!
Try something new, how about meeting up in the park? You will get theirs and they will get your full attention. So opt for a place you’ll actually enjoy meeting at. Give this a go.
#4. DONT BE A NEGATIVE NANCY
Nobody likes being around someone that’s always venting negative crap, even more so when it happens on a first date.
Bad days are like seasons that come and go. Sometimes, we have shitty days, you got your 3rd written warning at work, your friend just broke up with his wife for the 10th time, or you had a long, stressful week. Whatever the reason may be, I suggest you not to let it affect your mood. Talking about your lousy day at work is one thing but letting it affect the entire date is another.
First dates are fragile they are all about the lasting impressions we leave on the other person. If you’re not a typical pessimist, then don’t come across as one either.
#5. PAY ATTENTION & AVOID THE INTERVIEW
Generic questions turn your date into a generic one, this is a bit weird but after shooting myself in the foot enough times I’ve learned my lesson.
As I mentioned earlier, dinner dates just don’t work. Why? You’re sittting in front of your date, watching one other gobbling down food. There is no excitement and watching each other eat is not exactly your idea of fun, or is it.?
Being outdoors gives you the ability to talk about the environment when you run out of things to say. It allows you to chill without making the silence awkward. The environment is a powerful tool.
You definitely want a stockpile of some backup distractions just in case while you work on keeping things interesting and entertaining for you two. Keep on going without getting into too much fluff.
Have you ever caught an eye of a beautiful woman at a club that you really liked, you two connected and chatted briefly but because you didn’t give her your undivided attention that’s required in the beginning to form a bond she later ended up losing interest in you and ended up leaving with another guy?
Let me tell you a quick story, A few months ago I went to Zakynthos (a greek island) it was in mid of August to be exact, while in the club called Barrage I met this couple, the guy was Irish and a blond girl was Ukranian. They met on Bimble and were sipping on their cocktails, they ended up joining my gang and then we ended up joining another bigger gang of people. What started as a company of two ended up a massive party. I talked to a bunch of people as the night unfolded and to witness what I described above right in front of my eyes. The more that couple talked to other people the more they drifted away until I saw that girl ended up with this lad from London. You know what the worst part is? The English guy was leaving Zakynthos the following afternoon. Later on, the Irish guy told me they had been chatting almost every day for the past 4 months and that he wanted to make their first date a special one and it was him who suggested meeting up there and bought her a plane ticket as a token of his appreciation, CRIKEY!
What a waste of time and resources. Don’t let that happen to you.
Next time when you’re on a first date try planning something fun, you know now what to do, first dates don’t have to be awkward they can actually be a lot of fun.