Have you ever wondered why you attract men with commitment issues?
Maybe you’re worried that he’s losing interest?
Whatever your situation may be, here are the top five qualities a man really needs in his woman.
You’ll be happy to hear that not all men are afraid of commitment, nor do they want to use women or date around forever without committing to the one.
As a matter of fact, most men (once they have reached the point where they are ready for a relationship) are actively seeking a life partner.
Men get really excited when they come across a women who seems sweet, positive and into them.
But then most women starts throwing up red flags – signs that she is going to end up next to his ex. And what do most men do?
They lead such women on up until they get what most men want ‘SEX’ and then gently tell her “it isn’t working out” and move on.
Why are men so cautious?
The fact is most women feel more acute emotional pain immediately after a break up.
Men typically suffer for longer time periods and more intensely.
The average Irish male experiences three significant break ups by the age of 30.
So the chances are the guy you’re with has been through a break-up or three, and was hurt more than he is letting on.
Even years later, he’ll be looking for warning signs in a woman he is with.
So a woman need to know what her man is looking for in a woman and how to send the right signals most of the time.
A woman must show her man that she understand his emotional needs (action speaks louder than words here).
If there’s one thing that scares men away, it’s a woman who ‘plays games’ or ‘blows her shit up’ over minor things.
One minute she’s really into her man, and the next minute she’s angry about something so she stops talking to him or completely ignores his calls and texts.
Then, once she feels better again, she is all sweet and lovey-dovey.
Men hate this up-and-down, roller-coaster type of interaction.
A man wants to be with a woman who is consistent, open and solution-oriented.
Why is emotional maturity (demonstrated through calm and productive communication) essential?
Lack of communication is the primary reason for the majority of couples break up.
In case of a problem, a man needs to trust that his woman will talk to him with the intention of finding a solution to the problem, that will suit them both.
That means a couple is comfortable admitting when each one of them is wrong, saying he or she is sorry, and not only that, the other individual is genuinely able to forgive and move on after a solution has been found.
Make sure you seek peace instead of trying to win every battle.
Men want to partner up with emotionally mature women who lessen, not increase, the amount of stress they experience in everyday life while chasing their life purpose.
Any man who is ready to settle down into a relationship is a man who has realised that he doesn’t want to be alone anymore.
He’s realised the thrills of single life no longer compensate for the isolation and loneliness he experiences for not committing himself to the right one.
He is ready for a life long partnership.
That also means he will be evaluating you or any single and available woman he meets as his partner.
However, a man will only want to partner up with a woman who he feels treat him with respect and fairness. Lets say for example:
- you need to do your share of work
- spend money in a fashion that matches his expectations
- give back to him in ways that feel equal or more to the ways he gives to you
This is what every man worries about, no man want to be with a woman who takes advantage of his generosity.
While men want to take on a partner, they do not want to be financially ruined or to be the one doing the housework while you sleep in on your days off.
How can you possibly send a message that shows your weight in the relationship?
Pay attention to what your man likes doing and what he doesn’t, and start having conversations about division of everyday tasks and responsibilities.
Although you will agree that whoever cooks dinner does not have to do dishes after, or you may agree to some other task instead while watching the game on telly.
Just make sure you talk through your expectations (and his) to make sure they match.
Likewise, pay attention to his spending habits.
Be careful never to take advantage of him, especially if he makes more money than you do.
Then, as the relationship progresses, openly discuss finances to assure him that you care about this finances as much as he does.
Let’s say if you make more money than him, be sure to discuss how he feels about the arrangement.
Make sure he doesn’t feel like he has to do more than his share in order to compensate because in the long run it will just breed resentment.
Talk through what feels fair to both of you, financially and in regards to division of everyday tasks.
You may have already been in a relationship with a man (your now ex) who liked the cuddles
How about someone who rubbed your back and gave you long hugs?
Maybe you had been spooned all night?
Okay, maybe it was either the first, second or the third one, some probably experienced all in their previous relationships (while other readers none at all).
Sorry to those who didn’t but those who did experience all or some, that affection made you purr like a kitten, right?
That’s because most if not all women need affection to feel closer to someone.
Because men are hardwired very differently, they need sexual intimacy just as much as women need affection.
It’s what makes us men feel loved and that’s how we experience true intimacy.
Unfortunately, in today’s world a lot of Irish women struggle with low libido and/or insecurity about their bodies, and, as a result, they stop making love regularly after the first few months of the relationship and that’s when things start to go stale.
Think about how you would feel if your man was very attentive to you for the first few months of your relationship, but suddenly only wanted to snuggle once a month.
Like a typical Irish chick you would be talking with your girlie girls about how unsatisfied you feel, oh yes… that’s right!
This is how your man feels if you stop having sex with him.
- He feels rejected.
- He no longer feels closer to you.
An average ‘happy Irish couple’ in a long term relationship typically make love about once a week.
There is no shame in asking your man how often he’d like to be intimate and talk over tea or a date night out what would make it more enjoyable for both of you.
If intimate talk has been a problem for you in the past, please do yourself and him a favor by making an appointment with a sex therapist (there are plenty of them in Ireland) or your doctor (if you feel that more comfortable) to discuss your low libido or your insecurity about your body.
The fact of the matter is that your man doesn’t give a monkeys if your body is perfect or not.
However, he does give a whole bunch of monkeys about you making love frequently.
At the same time he also wants you to enjoy that magical sexual experience.
After all, no man wants pity sex or duty sex.
Communicating your needs with him is the only way he will know what makes it enjoyable as well as pleasurable experience for you and prioritise this part of your relationship.
Life is not all fun and games, we all agree!
Most people get beat up throughout the day, whether it’s work or that best friend said something hurtful.
Your car breaks down in the middle of the road, a big chunk of your salary is gone towards your income tax, you can’t remember your newly changed password Gmail, etcetera, etcetera you know what we are talking about.
Women typically want someone to listen to them when they hit a bump and life gets tough.
Men, however, typically want to engage in something fun and positive to distract themselves.
By no means we are hinting or suggesting that men don’t like to talk about stressful things.
On the contrary, men are usually grateful to find someone they can talk to.
However, one thing men universally look for in a partner is someone who can make them smile.
Someone, who is also fun to be with.
If you come home everyday only to dump your entire days negativity on your man, then he is going to start feeling suffocated and eventually it will come to the stage that he will pack up and leave you. so he can breathe in an environment that is free of toxicity.
Especially if you deflect every suggestion he has or get defensive that he’s trying to help you solve your own problems.
So how should women handle this?
Make it a habit to talk to your girlie-girls about the majority of your daily complaints so that you can be more positive when you spend time with your man.
Then, get into some of the fun things he likes to do.
Does he like watching the soccer game? Make football games an event.
Is he into other sports? If so, you can learn how to play them.
Choose one of his favorite activities and join him (without whining on his need for “man-time” of course).
The Attractive Mate
No, you don’t have to be Miss Ireland, or pile on plastered in makeup, in fact, a lot of Irish guys truly prefer natural beauty because vast majority of women they see everyday are wrapped in it.
However, every man wants to be with a woman that makes him feel proud.
Who you are reflects upon him.
If he is capable of attracting an appealing, together, confident woman, then he feels good about himself.
If you don’t take care of yourself, he feels lesser because he wonders if he isn’t good enough to attract an impressive good looking mate.
Call it what you want but men are visual creatures, so how you look matters a lot.
You should take care of yourself physically, paying attention to what a man (your man) finds attractive.
In most cases exercising regularly and eating well as part of your everyday lifestyle will increase your overall appeal.
Those who are on the heavier side, a man (your man) will see your efforts to take care of your body and will respect you for it. Being a healthy woman is naturally very appealing to most men!
Every woman should dress in a way that flatters her and give her self enough TLC to reflect a healthy, clean, fresh glow.
If you look well and confident in clothes you wear and the body figure that you have, a man (your man) will be very proud to have you by his side.
Every single man on the face of this earth wants to be with a woman who is impressive in character and overall satisfied with her accomplishments.
For example, if you are positive and friendly when you are introduced to a man’s (your man’s) friends and family, he will be proud to be with you.
If you complain the whole way to his parents’ house, and sob the entire time while there and moan on the way home, he will regret partnering up with you even if you happen to be the most beautiful woman.
It also pays to be knowledgeable as well as skilled so when he introduces you to his coworkers or siblings, he wants to be able to brag about you.
Be someone a man (your man) can boast about and he’ll stand 12 feet taller with pride when he’s beside you.
Freedom to Pursue His Dreams
Does your man likes coming home to you after he finishes work?
Does he love seeing you when you arrange meeting with him to get grub out or to go to the pictures?
Are you the first person he wants to talk to when he gets good or bad news?
Maybe your man does some, maybe he does all and maybe those who do not yet have a man want their future man to do them all.
However, a man with ambitions and life purpose doesn’t want to spend all of his free time with his woman (you) so he hopes you don’t want to be stuck with him every second of the day either.
Most if not all purposeful men need their time alone each day, women need their alone time too but men seem to need more of this than most women do.
A man (your man) also wants time with his friends or to pursue hobbies he truly enjoys, and he needs you to give him the space to do the things he likes to do without having to justify himself to you along with his pursuit.
If he’s an entrepreneur or likes to complete complex projects, he may need even more time to himself than the average person, and he needs to know you won’t hold him back from these activities and challenges that he faces on daily basis.
Think of spending time with your friends or pursuing your own interests and hobbies so he has time to do the same.
If you don’t pester him, its very likely that he will want to spend his free time with you and only you.
Are You Single, Ms Right?
There are plenty of good men out there.
Like single available women, men who are also single and available are searching for a partner who will love them and honour their needs.
When a man comes across a woman who demonstrates that she understands and respects him, he finds that woman completely irresistible!
Download our App to find your match on ello.ie today and start your own love story!